Since we were sent home yesterday without a visit (albeit, we did get the benefit of a daily hug), we were allowed to come back today (Saturday) and visit with Dasha. It was nice. The reception we get when she first sees us is heartwarming, and is by far, the highlight of my day. Her little face lights up when she sees us, and she truly does greet us like a child excited to see her parents. Its only been a few days, but we definitely feel the parental bonds starting to take root.
Today, they were in their playroom when we walked up to the third floor of the orphanage (not calling it a baby house) to sign in. Dasha ran over to greet us, and then was told to change into her outdoor shoes so that she can go play outside. We got a rare glimpse of the changing room, the locker with her name on it, and the little playroom (where we are sure she has spent countless hours of her life). Dasha changed quickly (by now, she totally understands the routine – these people come, they bring cool toys, good stuff to eat and drink, I get some extra attention, and then they leave), so she is quick to get going and head outside with us. She usually lets one of us pick her up and carry her out. It is sweet.
The visits are becoming more predictable. Her behavior is not so foreign to us anymore, and the awkwardness continues to fade. We can put her on our laps with ease, chase after her without fear of scaring her, and pick her up, spin her around and tickle her to the point of hysterical laughter without worry. Good times! The visit took place outside again. The groupa remained inside, so many of the issues plaguing us on prior days were not present today. If Dasha ran to another section of the playground, there would be no other kids to distract her from our visit.
Brad and Mary were there with Polina, and its super-sweet to watch Dasha and Polina share, play, talk and fight like siblings. On one particular occasion, Polina whacked Dasha pretty hard on the head with a plastic cell phone. The impact did not phase Dasha in the least. She continued doing what she was doing without so much as looking up. The girls drank their juice boxes and water, and ate their snacks. Did they get a little unruly? Sure- some toys were thrown, and each one whacked the other, but basically they just played. Dasha still likes to play with bubbles (they have yet to get old), and she still likes her time with play-dough. She still likes to run around the playground, take a turn or two on some swings, and then she is done.
Today, she enjoyed watching Polina sit on a swing, watch the chains tangle, and then spin around on the swing as the chains untangle. Dasha did that once, and that was about it for her! Oh well, those things make me dizzy as well! As the girls get tired, they seem to get more docile, and their concentration can then allow them to focus on the play-dough, looking at some books, etc. The last half hour of the “play dates” seem to be the most enjoyable.
There was one interesting twist to today’s events. The girls wandered over to the car where our driver (Sergei) was resting. Sergei got up and spoke to the girls. He opened the doors to the car (the “machina”) and asked if the girls wanted to enter the vehicle. Both girls declined. It was an interesting dynamic. Dasha became shy and reserved, while Polina asserted herself. Both sets of parents watched in amazement. The more Sergei reached out to them, the less interested they became. In the end, neither girl entered the vehicle.
As the play date wound down, the groupa came outside and the typical visits over to the rest of the groupa began to re-occur. It is tough to blame the little girls for wanting to show and explain what is going on to their little friends. We had a few encounters with the groupa as a result of Dasha and/or Polina running over, but these encounters were less problematic than in prior days. The girls know they are not supposed to be there, and for the most part, they didn’t linger for too long. That said, my 2 least favorite things associated with going to the orphanage are as follows: (i) there is the wailing sound of crying babies on the first floor that you hear as you walk up the powder blue steps to sign in. Little children crying with no one racing to comfort them, that is difficult to hear; and (ii) when the little girls wander over to the groupa to show off their new toys and candy, the children from the groupa come over to you, smile at you, reach out to you, and basically beg for your affection with their eyes and faces. It is heartbreaking to drown them out and only focus on one, but that is pretty much what you have to do.
In any event, the visit ended with Dasha racing to get back with her groupa as they headed inside. She was visibly tired from being outside and playing. She had previously laid her head on Megan’s shoulder, as she allowed Megan to carry her around, and she was pretty subdued when I said goodbye to her. I gave her a little peck on the cheek, told her that we would not be back tomorrow (in the best Russian I could muster up), but reassured her that we would indeed be back the following day. 2.5 hours, 2 juice boxes, 2 sippy cups, 1 water bottle, 1 water bottle with tea, 2 bags of cookies, and some sugar candies later, we had a great day and some memories that will last us a lifetime! Time to recharge and re-stock so that we can do it again on Monday.
Sitting in her cubby putting on her outside shoes
This is her name tag on the outside of her cubby.
Still loving the bubbles!
Snack time!
The top sign says Makiivka, which is the town where the baby house is located. The bottom sign says Donetsk and is crossed out because we were leaving Donetsk and entering Makiivka.
it is so hard to explain to someone what it is like at an orphanage, it just breaks your mama and daddy hearts!! That is why so many adopt again and advocate over and over for the other kids there! so happy that you are settling in and getting to know each other :)
ReplyDeletehugs!
Great writing, Norm. Thanks for the detailed update. When I was with little Alina it used to bug me when she would run over to the groupa or friends to show off whatever gadget she had in her hands. Some of it is was showing off and some of it was attachment stuff. I will share more in email.
ReplyDeleteAfter my VERY basic Russian 101 course, it looks like Dasha's family name is Sidorenko. Dasha (patronymic name?) Sidorenko.
Praying for a court date soon. Blessings. Kelly
Nice job, Norm! I enjoyed reading your post; you added your own personal style to the blog and it was good!
ReplyDeleteyour m-i-l :)