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Friday, August 5, 2011

The Brats (Brothers)



Today marks six weeks since Dasha arrived home.  Some days it feels like it's been six L-O-N-G weeks, and other days it feels like she's been here forever.  One of the questions I get asked most frequently is how Matthew, Sam, and Caleb are doing since Dasha's arrival so I thought I'd post about it.  Overall, the boys are doing great adjusting to life with an internationally adopted sister.  It's a lot for them to deal with, but they are handling it well.  The older boys are able to understand when I explain why she behaves the way she does, and I think that goes a long way with their patience and tolerance for her.  Here's a little bit about her relationship with each one: 

Matthew

Matthew is Dasha's favorite because he plays with her a lot and gives her tons of attention. She likes to play sabaka (dog) with him and she likes when he gives her piggy back rides.  :)  Dasha calls Matthew "Brat" and rarely says "Matthew", but she calls the other boys by their names.  Matthew is very bossy and controlling, so sometimes they clash and have their power struggles.  It takes one to know one, right?  :)  Matthew and Sam share a room and for some reason Dasha is drawn to it like a moth to a flame.  Every single chance she gets she sneaks into their room and goes through their stuff.  This really bothers Matthew and that's probably his number one complaint about her.  Overall, Matthew loves having a little sister and I predict they will be close as they grow up.


Sam

Sammy is not a people person, so I can't say that he is in love with Dasha yet, but he definitely doesn't dislike her.  For the most part, he has kept his distance from her and does his own thing.  Recently I have seen them playing together a little more so I'm hoping they are slowly beginning to develop a relationship.  Out of everyone in our family, Sam has made the most effort to learn and use Russian with Dasha.  Matthew looks up a lot of words and phrases on Google Translate and Sam has a great memory and remembers them.  He has even started using Russian when he speaks to me sometimes.  Dasha is a bit of a bull in a china shop and frequently bumps, knocks, or hits others without meaning to.  This annoys Sam and he takes it personally, like she's trying to beat him up.  She's getting much better about apologizing immediately when she realizes she's hurt him, so he's beginning to see that she doesn't do it on purpose. 



Caleb

Caleb is having the hardest time with Dasha's arrival.  He is a momma's boy and she's been invading his territory. He has become very possessive of his things since she arrived and doesn't like it when she treats him like a baby.  I can tell he is extremely interested in her and he insists on doing whatever she is doing. Caleb just turned 2 and doesn't really talk yet.  He has, however, learned to say a few words thanks to Dasha (pool, da, nyet). I think their relationship is going to be love/hate for awhile. One of our biggest concerns was that Dasha would be aggressive with the boys, especially Caleb. While at the baby house, there were several occasions when Dasha made it clear that she wasn't taking crap from any of the other kids. Since we've been home we have seen no agressive behavior whatsoever. In fact, we've seen quite the opposite. Dasha is like a little mother to Caleb. She tries to hold him, change his diaper, tells him "no" when she sees him doing something she knows he shouldn't be doing, put him in his crib for naps, etc. It's very sweet but Caleb cannot stand it!!  He tells her "Nyet!" ALL.DAY.LONG.  Developmentally, they are very much at the same level right now and share a lot of the same interests.  They like to play in the water table, watch Barney (Dasha's favorite) together, and make each other laugh.  Dasha cannot say Caleb's name only once.  Whenever she talks to him, it's always, "Caleb, Caleb!"  He calls her Ya-Ya.  :)

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